


It's Not Love

by Kuroya



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Relationship Negotiation, despite the title it's not really angst i promise, oh hey look i'm going to hit the curtains on fire scene in my own way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 04:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3797305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuroya/pseuds/Kuroya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iron Bull says that Dorian once got so excited that he set the curtains on fire.  But what if it wasn't out of arousal but instead out of genuine excitement... such as, I don't know, something he'd not dared to hope for turning out to be true?  Because neither of these two know what 'this' is, but it's something.  It's a lot of something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Not Love

He couldn't deny it any longer. He wanted the Bull, wanted in a way that he had only wanted two other people. But that wasn't right. He had never wanted as badly as he had the kossith, with a desperation that bordered on fire and lightning. He hated fire spells in his mouth, and yet he didn't spare a thought to letting them spill from his tongue to give the man the taste of flame and smoke from his lips. He shied from intimacy outside of the bedroom, too acquainted with all of the ways that it could hurt, and yet the struggles he put up to being tugged down into the man's lap were in name only, something that made his breath catch for a moment. He never felt the burn of that word before, not after he had felt the pain of its sting, and yet there it was, struggling on his lips when he felt large hands stroke soothingly along his skin and ease away any tension and discomfort.

Dorian had never before wanted to run from something quite as much in his life, and he felt the prickle of heat building in his eyes as he heaved out a heavy breath, pushing himself up slightly on his elbows. He spent almost as much time in Iron Bull's rooms as he did the library, which said a lot more than if he had used his own room, and even with the draft blowing in from the open part of the ceiling and the dying fire, he was warm beneath the fleece blanket wrapped loosely around him and held in place by one large silver arm.

This was a mistake. Some part of him had whispered it when he had first gone to the mercenary's door, and that part had only gotten bigger as he progressed. Started staying the night. Found enjoyment in deft fingers combing through his hair and undoing all of his hard work getting it to look anything close to acceptable. Panicked and used the word the man had given him. Discovered that _katoh_ really did mean stop when the kossith hurriedly removed the hand from his throat, ripped through the scarves on his wrist, and sat up with fingers twitching, almost as if he'd wanted to scoop the other right up into his arms as he asked what was wrong. He'd tumbled end over end until he had no idea which way was up and even now, even so far gone, he couldn't bring himself to search for the words to make it end (because not even ' _katoh_ ' could make this stop).

But he had to, oh he had to, because even if the idea of a Tevinter mage and an ex-Qunari spy wasn't one that was destined to end in hurt, there was no way this wouldn't end badly. The Qunari did not love; Bull had taught him that. Relationships hurt; Halward Pavus had taught him that. Dorian did not deserve anything close to happiness other than the few glimpses he could steal; Tevinter had taught him that many times over. Swallowing hard past the lump forming in his throat, he started working his way out from under the blankets in that same way he always used to, time giving him knowledge he could be a little brisker than his usual crawl with Bull being such a solid sleeper.

He had just barely skimmed the floor with his foot when one arm tightened around him, and the Altus found himself letting out an undignified squawk (which he would fiercely deny if ever called on it) as he was hauled back into bed. "So, _kadan_ ," the Bull rumbled from behind him as if he hadn't just been passively sleeping a moment before, "mind telling me what you're thinking about that's making smoke come out of your ears?"

Before he could think, his tongue was slinging barbs out like poison, tone just as scathing as his spells. "None of your concern, you big lummox!" The moment the words were out, he tensed, the mage half-expected to be thrown out of bed. Even if he knew Bull was more of a gentle giant, it had been quite a while since he'd used such fire. He'd never before met a situation where he'd been that harsh and had it work out positively - not when there were his own feelings involved anyway - and his emotions were roiling horribly, bouncing between hurt and anger and just about everything in between because he was stupid enough to care and want more from a man who couldn't give that because there was no way Bull was serious about that, no way.

Instead, the Altus found himself bundled up into the man's lap, Iron Bull rolling over and depositing the mage there without a second thought. He was careful as he leaned in so that he didn't knock the human with his horns, leaning their foreheads together, and Dorian's breath caught for a moment. "Tell me, _kadan?_ Please?" the Bull rumbled, giving his best puppy dog eye. Dorian's jaw firmed, the Tevinter flinching into himself a little, repeating inwardly that he had to pull away, had to put up the walls again to protect himself, before the thought was shattered by a gentle thumb stroking against his cheek. "I promise I won't laugh."

Suddenly, the man was having to choke back a second lump in his throat, this one bigger than the last, and if it hadn't been for the warm fingers splayed against his bare back, he probably would have bolted for the library. Dorian Pavus did not talk about feelings. "I... Bull, what is this?" And yet here he was, doing exactly that.

Iron Bull, to his credit, didn't get upset. He just stroked Dorian's cheek gently, somehow knowing that his usual 'it's whatever you want it to be' would fall flat this time. "I don't know," he answered, thumb pausing against the corner of the Altus' lips, "but whatever it is, I don't want to lose it, _kadan_." The word itched at his lips but he didn't dare to even breathe, afraid that he was lost in the Fade and moving would shatter the illusion that held him captive. "I like having you in my bed when I wake up and I like holding you and knowing you're mine. I like knowing what makes you happy and what I need to protect you from. And maybe this isn't love-" Dorian's heart clenched somewhere in his throat, but the Bull went on "-but it sure as hell ain't passion. Because you deserve better than anger, _kadan_ , and I may not be the best person to give it to you, but I'm damn well going to try anyway."

Dorian's world exploded in a world of heat and light, and he dove forward to press his lips to the kossith's, messy and hot and he felt like he was burning out of his skin from everything all at once and he wanted to latch onto this feeling and hold it close because for once, he didn't give a damn if it burned him, he had a chance with this big stupid lovable brute who gave everything he had and then some.

Iron Bull pushed him back with a concerned noise, but before Dorian could be properly angry, he noticed the flickering in the corner of his vision, and ice water flushed through his veins as he noticed the fire. " ** _Venhedis!_** " he yelped, clumsily sending ice through the curtains and blushing brightly enough to feel the heat in his collarbone. For a moment, he entertained the idea of finding somewhere to hide, he hadn't lost control of his magics like that since he was a child, and never without realizing it, but before the thought could even fully crystallize, he was lying down wrapped up in warm arms and tucked to a comfortable side.

"Sleep, _kadan_. I'm not letting you go tonight."

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah the idea kept eating at me and I couldn't stop until I finally did it. Go figure. Now let me go hide since I'm sure I mangled this horribly but I just had to do the "what if" scenario.


End file.
